Domestic abuse support

Domestic abuse can have a huge impact on your mental and physical wellbeing and can take many forms.

Explore this guide for information on recognising abuse, and steps you can take to protect yourself and the people around you.

In this guide

Recognising domestic abuse
Access support

Recognising domestic abuse

Domestic abuse can be hard to spot, especially as everyone’s situation is unique. But there are common factors you can look out for to help protect your wellbeing.

Domestic abuse is any incident, or pattern of incidents, involving controlling, coercive, threatening or violent behaviour between people who are, or have been, personally connected. This could be a partner, ex-partner, family member or carer.

Abuse can be physical, sexual, psychological, emotional or economic. It may happen once or many times, in person or online.

Abuse can continue, or even start, after a relationship ends. Post-separation abuse is recognised in UK law and can include harassment, stalking, threats, and ongoing coercive control through children, finances or the courts.

Spotting abuse isn’t always easy, especially when it’s happening to you. Knowing the different forms it can take is a good place to start:

Coercive control – a pattern of behaviour designed to isolate, intimidate or control you, including after a relationship has ended
Physical abuse – hitting, slapping, pushing, burning, strangling or throwing things
Psychological and emotional abuse – belittling, blaming, gaslighting, making threats, manipulating you or cutting you off from people you trust
Sexual abuse – being forced or pressured into sexual activity, or having someone control contraception or pregnancy
Economic abuse – controlling your money, building up debt in your name, or limiting your access to work, food or transport

Domestic abuse can affect your wellbeing in the short and long term, both mentally and physically. This may include:

Isolation – not wanting to interact with other people
Depression – feeling persistently low or losing interest in things you usually enjoy
Anxiety – ongoing worry or fear that affects your day-to-day life
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) – including negative thoughts, flashbacks or difficulty sleeping after a traumatic experience
Memory problems
Chronic pain
Headaches and migraines
Digestive problems

If you’re worried about any of these, book an appointment with your GP. Or give us a call. No judgement, just support.

Finding a way forward

Follow the steps below to help manage your mental and physical wellbeing, and keep you and your family safe from abusive situations.

If you’re experiencing domestic abuse, talking to someone can be an important first step. You might find it helpful to:

Talk to your GP
Contact the police
If you’re in immediate danger, call 999
Call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 (free, 24/7, for women and children)
Call the Men’s Advice Line on 0808 801 0327 (free, Monday to Friday, 9am – 5pm)
Call Galop on 0800 999 5428, (free LGBTQ+ support, Monday to Friday)
Visit Women’s Aid to find support specific to your cultural background
Contact Surviving Economic Abuse for help with financial abuse
Talk to someone you trust, like a friend or family member

If you just need someone to talk to, we’re here to listen Monday to Friday, 9am – 5pm (except bank holidays)

Domestic abuse can feel very isolating, but you’re not alone. It takes a lot of courage to think about, or even commit to leaving. If you’re trying to find a way to escape, follow these steps before you leave to help protect yours and your family’s safety:

First, speak to a specialist service for guidance on leaving. See above for helpful numbers and links
Only give information to those you trust, so it doesn’t get back to your abuser
Think about a secret code word you can use with family and friends
Remember to switch off any location services on your digital devices
Memorise phone numbers of friends and family for after you’ve left
Plan out any logistical, financial and living arrangements to make sure you have a support system ready and waiting
Take important documents and items with you if you can, including:
- Passport
- Birth certificate
- Bank details
- Bank statements
- Benefit records
- Medical cards
- Marriage certificate
- Court orders
- Vehicle log book
- Cash and bank cards
- A spare set of home and car keys
- Medication
- Clothing and toiletries
As painful as it may be, gather as much evidence of the abuse before you leave including photos, videos, recordings and crime reference numbers

If you’re still struggling and need support, give us a call.

Even though I’m still dealing with issues with my ex-partner, the grant from the Bank Workers Charity has meant I’m not worried about keeping a roof over our heads. I just feel we’ve got a future now, we can go forward and move on.

– Jenny, our client